Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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