Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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