so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
