Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
