Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
