Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
