I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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