I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
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