I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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