Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
