I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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