His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
