It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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