I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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