i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
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Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies