Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
