Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
