guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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