I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
