the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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