im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize