This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
