I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
