Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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