He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
