College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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