i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
