Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
