...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
