So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
