I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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