How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
