I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
