you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
