turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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