it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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