You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
