if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
