dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
