I smell stomach acid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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