well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this just has baby written all over it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
