just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
