Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
