Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
