Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
