I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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