2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
