come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
