I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
