we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
