So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
