whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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