false alarm. still invincible.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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