cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
