I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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