I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
