Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
