I wish I could punch you in the face.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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