Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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