And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
